He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
