So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
