I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
