whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
