In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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