and she was petting her beer can
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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