went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize