So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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