Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Enjoy the penises
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
