Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize