I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
