I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
