So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize