I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We left the knife in your bed.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
