I think I am morally bankrupt
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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