I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
pop tarts are not kleenex
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize