i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
