I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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