Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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