Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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