and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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