My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
