I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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