Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
