im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
