So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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