Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
