just survived the first fart of the relationship.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
