If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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