so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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