I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize