Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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