in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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