At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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