I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize