We're like a lot better than the average bears
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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