I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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