Duck Duck Cougar?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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