i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
