I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize