Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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