Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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