Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
