Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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