its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
