How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
