I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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