Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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