New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize