Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
