I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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