too bad you live with your parents still
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize