What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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